Developer Diary: Richard Garriott

Once again our cunning ninja reporter Ichiro has obtained another developer’s diary, giving us a fascinating insight into their world. This time: Lord British, Richard Gariott, creator of the Ultima series and Tabula Rasa.

3rd March 1983
Being the Lord of a kingdom as vast as Ultima is very lonely and to this end I have created a company called Origin along with my father and brother. Had a famous portrait photographer take a picture of me wearing my crown and looking very noble. To show how much I love the working classes I will give each player a copy of this picture. Had my servants cook a delicious seabream for lunch.

Filmmaker Diary: Uwe Boll

This time we take a slightly different angle and explore a day in the life of Uwe Boll video game filmmaker and all round nice guy.

“Whores! Whores? Where are you?” I scream. Gone no doubt, I hate this rat infested French toilet of a country. The cheap vodka floating in my veins is beginning to fade replaced by the punishing realisation that American public are biased against my films because I’m German. “The war finished over 60 years ago you fat Yankee bastards” I shout at the TV. The woman on the morning talk show is laughing. Laughing at me! How dare she laugh to my face. I jump up from the bed and plunge my fist into her stupid fake-tanned capitalist face. The TV stops working with a bang and I withdraw my bloodied hand from the broken screen. Oh, the pain is intense. “Why did you do this to me?” I cry, barely holding back the tears.

Developer Diary: Shigeru Miyamoto

Once again dear reader it is time to dive into the world of another notable video game developer. Ichiro has out done himself this week by stea… securing the diary of world’s most famous games designer Shigeru Miyamoto.

Monday
I awake to find, with sadness, that I am not dead or even slightly unwell. At the breakfast the usual bitter silence clouds the table. I quietly eat my toast and briefly look over at my plain wife. I sigh, why has she not died yet? During the drive to work I close my eyes and hope for a fatal head-on collision. A minute passes, I open my eyes and realise that I not actually driving the car. The chauffeur looks at me in the rear view mirror. “Is everything okay Miyamoto-san?”
“Yes, fine thank you” I reply before turning to look out of the window.

As I enter the Nintendo building the receptionist smiles and bows deeply as I walk past her. It takes all my effort to smile in reply. Up in my office I wonder possible reason she has to be happy as I look out over the sunlit cherry blossoms dancing in the air against the backdrop of Mount Fuji.